Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Posted at 01:31 pm by
adbearde
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Thursday, December 01, 2005
OK.... Blog Drive has reached a whole new level of annoying for me. So, while I was not going to abandon this address... I have decided it is time.
Therefore From this moment on you may find out what is going on at UnWebbing at a new address:
www.adbearde.blogspot.comAt this time it contains the pictures from my Thanksgiving adventure. But I hope to get it updated today. I have a paper to write that is due tomorrow, that is the time that I always make changes and updates on my Blog!
See ya there!
~Ange
Posted at 01:25 pm by
adbearde
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Saturday, November 26, 2005
Posted at 04:53 pm by
adbearde
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Look For all of you that I know have been checking this thing and saying "when is she going to update..." I'm updating!
So... here is the gooo, Blogdrive doesn't work well for pictures. But Blogger or Blogspot does: So go to this link and check out the beginning of my thanksgiving story.
More to come...
The Beginning of the Thanksgiving Trip
Posted at 12:41 pm by
adbearde
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Thursday, November 17, 2005
Graduate School of Theology
Apparently it is official.
I haven't received my letter saying that I am in... or if I received a scholarship... BUT...
According to Banner (The school grade and student database system). My advisor has officially been changed to a professor in the Graduate School of Theology!
YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!
One thing off of the waiting list! :-D
Posted at 11:20 am by
adbearde
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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Zombies… YES! That is exactly what I have become. The walk of the living dead. Not in the positive sense. It isn’t that I am dead in Christ, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Gal. 2:20) No this is a positive Zombie that I could be living in. And while it is true, I have been Crucified with Christ and in doing that, it demands that daily I take up my cross and follow Him. But no… this is not the Zombie that I am at this point in my life.
I Timothy 5:5-6
“The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.”
Alright, so I am not a widow, but follow with me for a second. I am a zombie. I am the second widow. I am the widow that has so many pleasures and I have found a nice comfy life in this world.
“O to be like Thee! blessed Redeemer,
This is my constant longing and prayer;
Gladly I’ll forfeit all of earth’s treasures,
Jesus, Thy perfect likeness to wear.”
OH But wait, would I truly, gladly forfeit these treasures. O’ Frustration, Anger, Resentment. Would I really leave this world behind to follow Him? Am I the rich man who follows all the laws but can’t walk away? I don’t want to be that person, but I fear that I am. Daily I fail to leave my life. To take up my cross and to follow Him.
What opportunities am I walking by in my Zombie state? How often do I rationalize who I am and what I have become? I can stand and say “But Lord, this Comfy Cozy life is what you have given me.” And it is. But I don’t take advantage of it. Daily I walk past opportunities where I could be sharing Christ and I don’t see it. Today I sat in my place on campus, beneath a tower that man has built. I find it odd that such magnificent architecture goes into a building a place for us to come and learn about God. But are we really learning about God or what man has turned Him into? But more to the point, why are millions of dollars being spent on this building while down the street a small child is starving and being beaten by his absent father. Yet while I am great at making the plea, living it is another thing. Because I sit nice and cozy in my middle class lifestyle and buy into the culture of education, pop-culture and the want for things I just don’t need. I pray for a servant spirit and somewhere in me that spirit exists, but only to a limit, because when put to the test, when asked to serve, to get out of my comfort zone, I am not better than those I criticize. I kneel and pray prayers for a spirit of servitude and rise from my knees to not think about the commitment until I get back on them.
Father, introduce me throughout the day when and where I am to serve. What I am to do and give me the courage to do just that. Help me to stop living in comfort, fear and selfishness and start living in you.
Awaken my Zombie Eyes.
Posted at 11:40 pm by
adbearde
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
In a conversation with a friend last night I realized something:
ME: I mean do you realize technically I just have one class that I have to take next semester...
ME: I could move home in December and just fly in for the two weekends that I have class...
HIM: or you could follow a passion and dream
HIM: your call
ME: exactly...
Posted at 12:15 pm by
adbearde
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Sunday, November 13, 2005
I realize I haven’t written in a while. Trust me, I have heard it from plenty of you. I could give you the run around; tell you I have been busy. It wouldn’t be a lie, but it wouldn’t be the truth either. I have had time to write. I have had many things to write. I simply have had no desire to write. Maybe it is because of all the papers I am working on right now. Possibly there is a mask that I just don’t feel like taking off right now. Either way, I am doing well.
Here is an update:
There are four weeks left of class. In four weeks I will be home with my family and my dogs. I must admit while I am excited about seeing my family I am really going to miss my “family” here. Four weeks will mark an immense shift and change in my life. For the last six months I have been the Campus Ministry Intern at my church. While there have been highs and lows over this time I am sad that it is coming to an end. I love working in Campus Ministry. It is this new love that has inspired me to get my second Masters Degree in Christian Ministry. I am still waiting to hear that I am officially accepted. My prayer life and quiet time has been consumed with prayers that God will show me the doors that He is opening for me at this time. In LIFE Group tonight, Ruth prayed for me and worded it wonderfully, “Angela is in a stage of waiting right now and that can be hard.” Yes, it can be hard especially since I don’t want to wait. I want to be. I want to do. I want to see every second as an opportunity to share life, Christ’s love with someone. But it is true. I feel like I have fallen into a bit of a holding pattern. I wait and see… Will I continue working at the church? Will I get into the GST? Yet in the holding pattern there is a ton to do in the day to day. I have many papers and projects that have to be done in the next four weeks. Several of which are due this week.
But I must say… the highlight of my month happened this morning. My dear friend’s son was baptized. A sweet child who I have known most of his life; his family was so proud of him. So was I.
I am proud of you Nathan!
~Ange
Posted at 11:39 pm by
adbearde
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005
It has been a bout a month, Lord, since I have written. We have talked but I am not sure how much searching of myself that I have done in those times. Sitting here on this hill watching your creation rush by I think back to my time at Pepperdine. My quiet place. At that time it was Karl Lutz that I waited to catch a glimpse of as he passed to his office. Today it is you. In this quiet place, high on this hill. As I reflect on my day, my life, this school, and these people I want to see you. And then you show me a sign. Carvings that I see daily that I fail to read. "I am the light of the world, he who follows me will not walk in darkness. but will have the light of life." Why have I not seen that before? Why in the hustle and bustle do I not see the rich gifts you lavish on me? The shadow I sit in is moving now. The sun, it's warmth in the breeze shines on my face. My initial response is to shield my eyes. Protect myself from the blinding light. I don't want to protect myself any longer. I want to look up and feel the warmth of your rays raining down on me. When did I get so careless? When did I begin to find comfort in the shadows, in the darkness?
Bring your light on this campus. Show these students these people how awesome and how great your power is. I just spent four pages attempting to capture the awesome works you have done in my life. I fall short. I have no words, no clever sayings. Not even music touches the glory of the miracle you have worked in my life. I am amazed by your beauty. You have strengthened me. Eased my anger and shown me forgiveness. I am a tool. But I could be so much more. My motivation, my esteem fail me. But you Father, you alone can empower me to get past myself and back to you.
Past myself and back to you. Full, total sacrifice. My plans are not the point. It is your plans that I want active in my life. Oh, but that is a fearful thought, because in my ignorance I have written out the plan. I have cultivated a life in my mind. A ministry in my mind and I am a selfish, ego filled person. Parting with my plan, no matter how noble, how right, how spiritual it may be. help me to follow your plan. Open the doors. Help me to see the path you have written for me. Abandonment, submission, purpose and determination in You and You alone. That, that Father is my goal. Whatever the cost. As dark as the shadows get. As foolish as more schooling appears and as exasperating as the bubble seems, make me aware of your power in it. Tune my heart, my eyes, my ears to the place where daily you demand that I am your servant. Let me see the world, this campus, these students, this church with your eyes. Give me confidence and courage to be the woman you have called me to be.
Posted at 05:20 pm by
adbearde
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005
There are a million and one things that have run through my head over the past 24 hours that I have thought to write about. Some appropriate, some that needs to be protected by confidentiality. It amazes me how busy and chaotic life can get at times.
For the time being I want to put a prayer request out there. My life has been touched by Cancer recently. Infact it appears everyday I am learning of another person with cancer, might have cancer or who has a friend or relative that is facing a fearful reality. So for all of you, my prayers are with you. I have witnessed the helplessness of the victim, the father, the best friend and the children this week. The strain that this puts on everyone. These families need so much support, love and prayer.
I was with one father this week when he found out his little girl's lump on her breast was a tumor. It is still unknown what the status is, if it is malignant or not. The experience took me back to when I had found the lumps on my neck. I was so caught up at the time in the fear that I was in that I didn't see the pain and fear that must have been felt by my parents. Parents who had worked so hard to protect me, to raise me, to nurture me, just to realize how weak and vulnerable we all are.
Pray for these people.
~Ange
Posted at 11:46 pm by
adbearde
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